i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize