who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Randomize
