Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i came on her dog
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
