After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
