that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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