where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
