i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
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