just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
