so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I wish you could order shots online.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize