lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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