Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
