He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
