therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
pray to the hookup gods
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
