lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
