I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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