cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's like God shit irony all over that family
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
