the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
handjob tips. give me some.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
