I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
