I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's never too late to be topless.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
