their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
