i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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