he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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