Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
