hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
