I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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