So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
