why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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