Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
