stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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