I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
