In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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