We need to rekindle our bromance
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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