Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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