You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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