where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
