you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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