I bet he comes in French.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
