i don't like sucking hair
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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