Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
