So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
