Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A+ Viking dick
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
