you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Randomize
