I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Someone shattered a urinal.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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