is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize