I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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