think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
