i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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