"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
