you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
