Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
