So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
