I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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