I molested 6 butterflies tonight
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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