you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
