it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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