I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
