Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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