it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize