I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
