Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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