that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
please don't ironically join a cult
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