You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
